No more struggle

I look at the grey sky and I scream with all my heart out. I pull out my hand trying to grab the cloud, up there. I couldn’t touch what I want. Sigh. The breeze of the air is not same anymore. Nothing works it use to be. Everything turns out as an ugly picture to me. I felt so tired and I felt like this is the end point of my life. I am lost and I can’t find anything for me to move on. I staring at the sky again with hatred in my eyes and suddenly a drop of tear flowing down to my cheek. I use a handkerchief to dry up my tears. But than again, I try to swallow each tear I drop. I need to be strong and each drop I swallow makes me eat up the sorrow I been going through. I don’t understand why I have to make myself suffer and tortured of the past. I need to forget those miserable memories. Things didn’t work out where I wanted it to be. Things have been beyond my control. I need to accept the failure of me. I may regret the way a thing goes by with my life. I can’t stop the stream of the river flow and there wasn’t any door for me to escape the fact. I hated myself for being fragile. The upset of me is needed to be stop. I can’t afford another attack of desperation. I must be strong enough to fight the dark side of my before it totally dominate my life. I cannot let the things haunt me forever. But than, I forgot what the meaning of happy is. I forgot the feeling of laughter and smile within my heart. I don’t know what should I need to do and where should I search my soul or what is the really inner part of me. How could I let myself hurt and painted my life into misery picture. I need to sit down and deal all the emotion and the sorrow away from my body. I need to take up my courage and ask the other side of my darkness away. My mentally need to be focus.
Suddenly the sky turn into black visual and is raining hard. It interrupts my medication. I try to focus again but it wasn’t working at all. Those upset flashbacks are attacking me and tiring me up again. My own cycle of emotion is killing me, and it prevents me from thinking clearly. I saw those evil spirits guarded me tightly and prevent me from escaping the misery of prison. I can’t find any way out from this darkness. I hated myself more for being so vulnerable. No matter how much I cope up my sorrow and pains, it seems that nothing work out the way I wanted it to be. Finally the feeling of fear has successfully conquered my life with 100%. I am giving up and no more struggles with my own fate. I need to accept my time has come. Now I waited the darkness eat up my life. I stretch up my arm and join the army of darkness.